Just Talk About It by Dameon and LaTonya Madison

Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. Ephesians 4:15 (NLT)

 If you were to ask any married couple to offer words of advice, you will most likely hear about the importance of communication.  Though, effective communication is the key to a successful marriage, let’s take it a step further – how does this work within the confines of marriage?   How do you tell your spouse, “Honey, you hurt my feelings when…” or “Dude, you have issues!”?  Though those words could seem hurtful or cause conflict, it is important that we as couples are able to speak the truth in love.


Giving
 We don’t realize that our spouses occupy the most intimate places within us not just becoming experts on the other but, also possessing a near terrorist power of the tongue.  As a result, we are able to see all of the good as well as all of the not so good traits in each other, while having a weapon of words.  With this knowledge, we should be able to express not only encouraging and uplifting thoughts but words of admonition and reproof.  However, knowing that we have articulate artillery we must be careful to manage what we say. 

We must “love our spouses enough to tell them the truth and respect them enough that they can handle it” (Iyanla Vanzant).   The expectation to handle it is not one void of emotion.  Rather, it is the respect, to handle carefully thought out expressions of truth in love and not argumentative banter.   Keep in mind, speaking truth in love is not tearing each other down and should not be used as a weapon or tool for control and manipulation.  The dialogue should result in your spouse feeling loved and empowered. 

Receiving

 In as much as we speak truth in love, we must be able to receive truth in love.  It’s never nice to hear what you’re not doing or how you’re doing something wrong, but in reality none of us are perfect.  Who better to share it with you than your spouse – the person whom you love and trust?  We should create a warm and non-threatening environment where our spouse feels comfortable sharing any and everything.    Though, it may seem elementary, receiving isn’t as easy as it seems.  To hear words of appreciation and love are always easy.  But, can we hear about our imperfections from the same voice that shouted our praise moments ago??  It may be hard but we have to know – that it is all spoken in love and not malice.  Speaking and receiving the truth in love helps us to grow and be more like Christ which should be all of our goals. 

Let us grow together and learn to “Just Talk About It” in love. . .